Cold and Paralyzed
by Nodscouter
Summary: 3 years after the defeat of the Reapers, Tali returns to her homeworld. With alot of bad memories.


Before I start, I would just like to note this is something of a sister story to Days Long Lost and Cause Unknown, they other two showing if Shepard and Garrus survived instead respectively.

* * *

**Chapter 1: Home?**  
_''Spending these nights awake and cold and paralyzed.'' _- My Life Inside your Heart, Rise Against.

''ETA to Planet Surface: Thirty minutes'' the voice rang out in the small shuttle. Tali looked out the window down on the planet. Rannoch. Her home.

''Is it?'' she thought to herself. It didn't feel like it. For all she cared, it was just another lump of dirt and metals with an atmosphere. It wasn't the Normandy. The Normandy had had character. The Normandy had had Shep-

''No, stop it.'' she whispered to herself. Don't remember it, don't remember it, don't remember it. She felt the familiar feeling of a sob. Familiar... she thought. She didn't cry much. Well, she didn't use too...

That of course, had all changed quickly. 3 years without a single night not crying herself to sleep. She had gotten all she had wanted out of the world, and then in the blink of an eye it had all been gone again. Everything she had desired for so long, everything she had ever wanted, taken from her again, this time forever. She looked down on the floor, unable to stop the tears, again. Unable to stop all the memories that she wanted to forget...

.

_The Normandy was burning. Several hull breaches had already been locked down by kinetic barriers, and EDI was working on putting out the fires that the attacks had caused. Water flowed from the ceiling, and her visor was starting to be covered in the liquid. She looked over to a corner of the Normandy, Samara was lying there, lifeless eyes staring out over the ships CIC. Her left shoulder had several bones penetrating it, as well a large part of the inside of the arm showing. Tali turned away from her and looked over to the other side of the room. Jack was lying in a pool of her own blood. Several shots had ripped her stomach apart, and she was staring coldly at the floor. Tali found herself feeling oddly... distant from it all. As if this wasn't happening. Just another nightmare. But it was real. Too real._

_And then she saw him. Garrus lay three meters in front of her, several deep bullet holes showing through the armor. She snapped back to the world and rushed over to him, bringing up her omni-tool. She started to scan him for injuries, before she felt a talon grabbing her arm. _

_''No time'' he muttered. ''I'll be fine, go get Shepard'' he said. Tali looked up around the room, unsure as to what to do. She wasn't a doctor, and certainly not knowledge in Turian biology, but something told her that she needed to stay here. She looked back at him, hoping to hear that he had changed his mind. He noticed her frustrated movements and decided to calm her.._

_''Come on, I've already survived a rocket to the face, this'll just be another little scar'' he said, gesturing towards the bandage still covering a large part of his head. He flexed his mandibles in the Turian equivalent of a smile, and Tali forced herself to stand up and turn towards the elevator. She turned to look towards Garrus once more. He nodded and made a gesture for her to go, and she nodded back, eyes wide open in worry. She rushed into the elevator, quickly tapping the buttons for the captains cabin. Garrus looked on as she left, and finally let his head down on the floor again. He heard the suit VI's voice in his ears._

_''Life Signs failing. Need immediate medical care. Unconsciousness imminent.''. He sighed, as he slipped away._

_._

''Ma'am, landing in 5 minutes. Recommend putting on your suit.'' the voice said again, breaking her out of the memories. She sighed as she walked over to the entrance of the clean room where she had left her suit. The shuttle wasn't much except for the cockpit, the clean room and the small space in between. The Admirality Board had given the shuttle to her, as an award for helping them take back Rannoch. She sighed once more, she didn't want a personal shuttle. She just wanted to forget everything. Sighing, she slowly put on the suit. It was much like her old one, although this one didn't come with a veil. It was only temporary, as the scientists had said that they would adapt to the new environment faster than they expected.

As she put on the gloves she felt the shuttle beginning to slow down, motion dampeners kicking in. The voice announced that they had landed, and she slowly walked out of the small clean room and into the main part of the shuttle. She heard the pilot saying something about ''Good luck'' to her, but she ignored it as she dreamingly walked out of the shuttle. She looked out on the plain that they had set her down upon. Tall, yellow grass covered it. She slowly moved around it for a while, before sitting down in the middle of the field. She slowly removed her gloves, something that the scientists had said was safe these days. She gently touched the grass, something she had dreamed of for so long, but the feeling was numbed by her own thoughts.

She removed her visor and put it down next to her, like she'd done so many times on the Norman-...

And she cried, deep sobs echoing over the fields.


End file.
